Hate Mail

This is but a fragment of the loads of hate mail I recieve everyday through the channels of Watson Thoughts (Luckily dwarfed by the quantity of letters of praise I recieve for my brilliant philosophical studies of the daily quotient). Read with caution- it is both disturbing and threatening.

SmokeyAni: you are a stupid boy
SmokeyAni: stupid scott and dan's stupid movie
SmokeyAni: i'm not impressed
SmokeyAni: waste of film if you ask me
SmokeyAni: so
SmokeyAni: i am left to wonder why they warrant so much space on stupid watson thoughts

Smokeyani clearly has in some way been offended by the content of Watson Thoughts, and as a result feels the need to lash out- perhaps in a perverted sort of cry for help- begging for attention.(I mean, just look at her alias! Smokey left a long time ago...and Ani???!! Hello?!!, you are not Ani!) You see, its only natural that Smokeyani feels jealous in light of such creative genius like Scott and Dan. But seeing as Watson Thoughts is a caring, altruistic entity, we will use this post as a therapy sesh for Miss Smokester- lets give her some attention.

Ahh yes, Smokeyani....where to begin? I first met Smokes in Spanish class with Mr. Carreño back in the golden era of my highschool days. Deeply impressed by her talents as a vocalist and musician, I of course was anxious to meet the person behind the gentle, humble stage presence and angelic voice. Little did I know what a sassy, snappy, Ani-obsessed (among other more local obsessions) freak I was about to stumble into. Spanish class soon was converted into a ruthless battlefield of the wits, as insults were exchanged at each passing moment. I singularly blame Smokeyani for my poor preparation with the Spanish language, and the subsequent difficulties I experienced in the early stages of my time in Spain; I unfortunately must confess I learned more about Ani Difranco, Yoga, and dried strawberries than I did irregular verbs. And this has been but a sliver of the smokeyani legacy I have had to bear.

Smokeyani lists here interests as:'writing/reading/dramatic torrid history, puddle jumping (diving if you wish to ani me up), rugby [and] a nine dollar canadian skateboard on the off season', among other things which yours truly found too vulgar or alarming to include in this list. It should be noted that Smokeyani has a hamster named 'Pancake'. Are you starting to get the idea here?

Here is what others say of Smokeyani:

'Duuuuuuuuude Emily is so cool. And I can't tackle her in rugby, she's too quick, damnit, quicksilver, she flashes through as the light glints of her many silver earrings. Well. The truth is I was very intimidated by this weird girl for a while...'

'The one and only sunshine'

'...few words would do justice to the fabulousness of such a crazycat.'

'...you know youre hot stuff when the mention of your name brings a raised brow... truly a one of a kind.'

'...loves to dance in our room to anything from Mel Far to ghetto superstar...'

Currently, Smokey is attending college where she enjoys falling in love with her english professors. She pursues her dream daily of becoming a fiction writer, like her literary hero, Virginia Woolf. She has a 'deliciously slender face'. (for now...)